Some things have to be bad to be good. Like 1988 Topps Growing Pains trading cards. The show might have been a showcase for the charms of Kirk Cameron but it wasn’t home to much in the way of groundbreaking writing (other than the fact that they managed to name a major character Boner and got away with it).
1988 Topps Growing Pains Checklist Details
The Growing Pains trading cards stay in line with the show’s fluffy humor and one-liners. The result is a set that’s lots of fun for nostalgic reasons, just as long as you can handle the hearty dose of groans that come with going through them.
This is your standard 1980s entertainment trading card release. The base set has just 66 cards highlighting the Seavers and the glorious fashions of the era. The design uses the outline of a suburban house — complete with massive TV antenna — to frame in the goofy stills. And the bright yellow borders are second to only 1991 Fleer Baseball.
Each pack also comes with one of 11 different stickers. These are primarily focused on the Seaver clan.
1988 Topps Growing Pains trading cards have a limited audience today. They’re fairly easy to come by and offer some cheap thrills to those who gave up 30 minutes each week to hang with the Seavers or thought Kirk Cameron or Tracey Gold were dreamy.
1988 Topps Growing Pains Checklist
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Set size: 66 cards
Cards per pack: 10
Packs per box: 36
Shop for 1988 Topps Growing Pains boxes on eBay.
Base Set Checklist
66 cards.
1 Title Card
2 Alan Thicke as Jason Seaver
3 Joanna Kerns as Maggie Seaver
4 Kirk Cameron as Mike Seaver
5 Tracey Gold as Carol Seaver
6 Jeremy Miller as Ben Seaver
7 It’s My New Look…”Miami Nice”!
8 Are You Sure You Followed the Recipie? Most Cakes Don’t Have Brussel Sprouts as an Ingredient!
9 I’m Not Angry…But Could You Please Get Off My Toe!
10 Grounded Again!
11 Yes, Dear, You’re the Fairest of Them All. Now Can I Use the the Mirror?
12 I Know We’re AllTired, Bul Shouldn’t Someone Turn the TV On?
13 I Love You Honey, But Please Don’t Glue the Silverware to the Table.
14 I’m a Man of the 80s. I Have a Real Hand in Raising My Kids.
15 I Never Met a Mirror I Didn’t Like!
16 Have I Got a Date Tonight!
17 Sometimes a Guy Just Has to Make Sacrifices. I’ll Only Go on Two Dates This Saturday!
18 A Cup of Polycarbonate?…Wait a Sec, This Is Mike’s Chemistry Book!
19 I Hope Everyone Wanted Those Burgers Well Done!
20 I Think These High-Heels Are Too High. I’m Getting Dizzy!
21 Yes, Son, That’s the Best Trout Imitation I’ve Ever Seen!
22 It Was Either a Ghost or I Ate Too Much Mocha Pistachio Ice Cream Last Night!
23 It’s Not That Your Grades Were Bad, Mike. It’s Just That You Failed “Chair Usage 101”!
24 Look for Sea Shells? Nah, I’m Looking for Bikinis!
25 It’s Not a Treasure Map…It’s Directions to New Jersey!
26 That’s Lovely, Sweetheart…But Aree You Trying Out for the Cheerleading Squad or the Debate Team?
27 Dad, Isn’t the Pancake Supposed to Come Down After You Flip It in the Air?
28 Three Out of Four Cheerleaders Agree! It’s Me!
29 It Sure Is Quiet. Are the Kids Out or Are We in the Wrong House?
30 I’m Not Mad, Mike. I Just Think You Should Ask Before Renting the House Out for a Party!
31 I Shall Return…My Library Books!
32 C’Mon, Help Me! I Put Super Glue on my Fingertips!
33 Don’t Be Afraid, Honey! You Won’t Have to Eat Daddy’s Cooking Again for a Week!
34 Snap the Picture Already! We Can’t Hold This Pose Forever!
35 Either This Is the Wrong Shopping Bag, or We’re Eating a TV Dinner…I Mean a Real TV for Dinner!
36 Someday, Son, We’ll Own a Full-Sized Dining Room Table. I Promise!
37 It’s a Cool Dance…Now Could Somebody Please Help Me Get Up?
38 A Toast!…With Extra Butter and Jam!
39 I Can’t Remember…Is That My Locker Combination or My Grade Point Average?
40 Am I in Trouble, Dad? Or Do You Have Lockjaw?
41 Okay, I Believer You. You Don’t Wear a Toupe!
42 Aloha from the Seavers!
43 I Tell Ya, It Keeps Me from Getting Wrinkles!
44 Don’t Worry Dad. I This Move on a Wrestling Show!
45 How’s a Guy Supposed to Look Tough with Flowers Around His Neck?
46 Are the Kids Asleep? Or Did You Mail Them Back to the Mainland?
47 He’s Making Dinner. Who Knows the Number for Pizza Delivery?
48 Okay — Who Starched My Jacket?
49 I Cooked Dinner, And I get to Do the Dishes, Too! What a Thoughtful Family!
50 Is This a New Look, Or Are You Becoming a Mime?
51 We’re Innocent. We Just Look Guilty.
52 Okay, Who Left the Sprinkler On?
53 What’s the Meaning of Life? More Important, Do You Know a Really Good Place for Dessert?
54 Ready to Throw in the Towel, Honey?
55 2 Cool 2 B 4-Gotten!
56 No, You Cannot Swallow Goldfish with the Other Kids!
57 Lights! Action! Cameron!!!!
58 Can I Ask You a Question? Am I Cool or What?
59 Love Me…Love My Snake!
60 A Cake Only a Daughter Could Love!
61 Trust Me, Dear, Never Put Asparagus in a Dessert!
62 Just What I Wanted! A Book About the Principle Exports of Ecuador!
63 When I Grow Up, Will I Still Have Homework?
64 Can We Have Dessert Without Dinner Tonight?
65 Nah, I Don’t Think It’s Impossible to Be Too Popular!
66 You Kids Want to Be Psychiatrists? Where Did I Go Wrong?
Stickers Checklist
11 cards, 1 per pack.
1 Jason Seaver
2 Maggie Seaver
3 Mike Seaver
4 Carol Seaver
5 Ben Seaver
6 Alan Thicke
7 Joanna Kearns
8 Kirk Cameron
9 Jeremy Miller & Tracey Gold
10 Whatta Hunk!
11 The Sensational Seavers
